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Relationship Advice: How to Deal With Arguments and Misunderstandings
Challenges and difficulties are common and usual for people who are involved in a relationship. Couples are already accustomed into facing major or minor problems, issues and worries throughout the duration of their romance. Although normal and common, such difficulties and problems should be faced eagerly and both people involved should be prepared and ready to take on actions and decisions to fix the issue.
Of course, the advices that you must seek depends on what your problems are, why you are having it and how the both of you came to the point of actually arguing and fighting over it. Your argument could be about sex, poor communication, misunderstandings and financial matters.
Here, you will be reading about general tips and advices on how you can solve and fix your issues at hand.
If your problem is poor or lack of communication and you want to fix it, then you must know that you have to improve yourselves and be willing to actually communicate with your partner. How so? You have to learn how to listen before you speak. Listen to what your boyfriend, girlfriends, wife or husband is trying to tell you. Listen to the content and to their opinions and try to understand what they are trying to get through to you. Do not just listen to reply, but you have to listen to understand.
Never interrupt when your partner is talking as that is just rude and it will resort into a much deeper misunderstanding if you do. Allow them to finish their sentences, their rants and their points before you reply to what they are saying. Also, do not speak with each other in an angry tone or as if you are implying something that is opposing their points in a rude way. Things will just get worse and will escalate to a whole new level if the both of you raise your voices and end up shouting bad words or curse words that could hurt your partner.
When things go wrong and the talk gets out of hand, one might just opt to shut the other away and not talk to them for a few days or even a week and this is something that you should steer clear off in a relationship. Some couples choose to ask for help from a therapist or a relationship advisor to help them resolve the problems. They have to go to someone who is not their friend or family, someone who is not close to them so they could receive unbiased opinions and unprejudiced advices that they could both agree on.
To avoid this, try to casually and customarily ask questions to your partner regarding their day, their work, their feelings and anything that could make them feel that you care.
Ask these questions to get to the point, identify the problem and resolve it:
1. What could be the problem?
2. Who do you think has the problem between the two of you?
3. What can you do about it in order to resolve and fix the problem?
4. Are you doing something at the moment that could fix the situation?
5. Think of possible solutions and answers that could help you deal with the problem.
6. Execute immediately and handle and control the results.
Here is a typical scenario for you:
Okay, so you are frustrated and upset at your partner because he did not actually compliment the food that you cooked for dinner tonight and in the past few weeks and because of this you feel as if there is not enough closeness, warmth and affection between the two of you anymore. Yet, you also did not put any effort into complimenting how he took care of the kids and how he did some gardening the other day because you though it was normal to do so but you want him to notice the roasted chicken that you cooked for the family and tell you it’s delicious? Do you think it is right to expect something from your husband when you, yourself, don’t give it to him too? Do you think that he has incredible psychic abilities that allows him to read your mind and that he knows what is running in your head all the time?
To avoid feeling ignored and disregarded by your partner, make sure that you also do your part in putting a little effort into noticing the smallest and the most mundane things that your partner is doing for you and your family. Take the initiative to say: “Wow, I love how you cooked the Turkey!” or “Hey, you smell great tonight.” or “Honey, you did great with the kids yesterday.” and give them a peck on the cheek or a hug as well. If you want to be appreciated then learn how to appreciate first.
You should be aware that relationships take great communication skills, cooperation, a lot of understanding and long patience in order to work and succeed. Know what your partner needs, wants and dreams of and if you can, then give it all to them. Make them the happiest and you will surely not regret it.
One more thing, take away your ego as it plays no part in a good relationship. When you are facing problems, issues and conflicts, do not allow your ego to interfere and get in the way. It is your ego that makes you shut your partner down when they are trying to explain their side or their situation. It is your ego that activates your defensive mode on which allows you to justify yourself even when you are on the wrong side. Your ego is related to a lot of negative emotions and characteristics like jealousy, rage, displeasure, irritability, loathing, envy, resentment, distrust, discrimination and a lot more. To be able to solve all your problems and issues, let go of your ego. This will allow you to have a longer lasting relationship with your partner.
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