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Long Distance Relationships- How to Make it Work
A lot of people have a little faith in long distance relationships. Why? Because long distance relationships are hard to maintain if both of the couples are undisciplined and immature. Some people will discourage you in having a relationship with someone who is overseas or a thousand miles away from you and some will actually say that it’s okay but to not take it too serious because long distance relationships will only break your heart if you take it seriously. Well, that is according to some people.
Love, be it long distance or not, is never going to be easy. Struggles, issues, problems and conflicts will definitely come for you and your partner. So what makes it different when your in a long distance relationship? True, that there is an extra distance between the two of you that adds up extra difficulty in handling things and solving problems but if you have faith in your partner, along with trust and love. Wouldn’t that be enough?
Here are some of the things that you can keep in mind in order to keep that long distance relationship going.
1. Remember not to be too clingy to your partner. Well, how exactly can you be clingy if he or she is on the other side of the world? It is never too good to demand that you two have to talk 24/7 while being away from each other. You might think that you are compensating for the lost time while you are away from each other by talking on the phone, emailing or instant messaging each other but no, that is not how it works. Sooner or later, one of you will get tired of updating all the time, trying to connect to Skype or Viber all the time and video-calling all the time. Less is more. You should know when is the best time to communicate.
2. Don’t take it as a difficulty but see it as a great opportunity for you and your partner to grow and develop separately. Think of it as a challenge for how strong your love is with each other and instead of thinking that the distance is making your relationship weaker and is separating you for good, think of it as a struggle that you could overcome and once you did you’ll be together with your bonds even stronger and healthier than before.
3. It is okay to set and make rules for you and your partner to comply with. Talk before heading out of your way as to how you will plan to continue the relationship. Like, establishing your relationship with each other, are you two exclusive or is it okay to be seeing other people while you are apart? Make sure that everything is clear before you go and live separately for a few months or years.
4. Do talk regularly with each other. It is bad to ‘excessively’ talk to each other but communicating and exchanging ‘how are you’s” and ‘I miss you’s’ every now and then is okay. Also, make sure to say ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ every day as to make your partner feel that you think about them all the time even when you are miles apart. Also, it is recommended that you send photos and videos to show how much you miss your partner.
5. Do not do things that your partner is not comfortable with. For example, going out with friends or drinking in a bar. Situations like these are what makes the other person uncomfortable, worried and anxious. If a friend is going to celebrate his or her birthday in a night club then make sure that you tell your partner beforehand so he or she will be reassured and updated about it. And if he or she thinks that it is a bad idea or he or she just gets too paranoid about it then just let it go and do not do it. Remember that you are committed to a person who is far away from you at the moment and all you want is his or her peace of mind. Do not make them worry too much as it is not healthy for both the person and your relationship with each other.
6. Visit each other whenever it is possible. This could be very exciting and thrilling for the both of you especially if you haven’t seen each other for a very long time. Actually planning to go to where you partner is, is sweet and the action just shouts “I miss you so much! Give me a hug!”.
7. Set your goals before going off and be separated for a few months or years. Ask yourselves these questions: How long should we be apart? What do we want to get and achieve in this long distance relationship? What are we sacrificing our time for? What happens after all of this? Keep in mind that this long distance relationship will only last for 5 – 10 years as all of us would have to settle down, focus on our family or business and just live together like how couples who are in love should be. Nothing lasts forever.
8. While your partner is away, try enjoying your time alone with friends and family members. You can always go out, eat dinner with your family, watch a movie with a friend or have coffee alone. Use this time to enjoy yourself more and grow individually.
9. It is always important to always be honest to your partner. Let them know if something is bothering you or scaring you or if you have done something wrong. Tell him or her everything.
10. Be aware of what your partner’s schedule is so you know when you can call or video chat with each other especially if your time zones are different from each other.
11. You can give your partner a gift that they can bring with them when they leave for another country or state. Something that could remind them of you whenever they see or hold it. Remember that something simple could actually mean a lot to one person.
12. Keep yourself on the positive side and avoid being paranoid at all times. Yes, there would be bad times but assure yourself and your partner that this is only a phase and that you will be able to conquer this and be together again in a few months or years. Do not overthink as it will only ruin the relationship that you fought for. Instead think of positive things like, you are doing this and enduring a long distance relationship so you can accumulate and save money for you and your family’s future.
Remember, nothing lasts forever and the distance between the two of you will be gone as soon as you accomplish your goal or reason as to why you left in the first place. You will soon be together again and by then you will be certain that he or she is definitely the one for you because you already conquered being apart, nothing can get in the way now that you are together. Also, the great distance between you could make all the simplest of things sweeter like holding hands, eating together, touching each other, giving a peck on the cheek, smelling each other and walking side by side.
Long distance relationships are never easy but allow yourself to accept the fact that sometimes you have to compromise to get the things that you want. If you or your partner is leaving for the betterment of your future then try to broaden your mind and understand the situation. It could help you grow into a better person and a stronger couple.
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