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How to Change a Bad Relationship
Relationships are not just about the happy times, the dinner dates and the flowers on every occasion. It’s about a healthy connection and partnership with the most significant and important person in your life. You have to have good communication with each other, respect towards each other’s likes, dislikes, goals and dreams in life, and also healthy habits and routines as an individual. You have to see your partner as another individual who has their own life and their own goals that they would have to focus on and not as someone who belongs to you and whom you own because he or she is not ‘something’ that you should keep.
To change a bad relationship, you have to avoid these things:
Never try to change, improve or mold your partner into something that he or she is not. Nobody is perfect and you just can’t push them to someone who they aren’t, especially if your aiming for an extreme change like pushing them to hangout with your friends when he or she is an introvert.
Do not complain, criticize or whine about your partner’s parents. Yes, they could be hard to handle and understand at times but they are still your partner’s parents and they were the ones who raised him to who he or she is at the moment.
Never fight in public because you might end up embarrassing or humiliating your partner in front of people whom you do not know and that will definitely affect how he or she feels towards you. Just talk in private.
If you can, try to avoid fights, quarreling and saying hurtful words to each other. It’s okay to argue over something every now and then but make sure that you do not make a habit of it.
Never disregard problems, issues and difficult situations, and do not keep your feelings and sentiments all to yourself. Talk to you partner and make sure that you’re open to one another.
Do not hold grudges against your partner when they make mistakes or do something wrong. This will cause you to be stressed and anxious about everything.
Never bring up serious and radical discussions, especially if it’s about money, goals and anything about the past when your partner is stressed, pressured, worried or on the verge of breaking down.
Do not keep score regarding the things you do as a couple as it may cause undesired and pointless strain in the relationship. Do not say: “I paid for our lunch for five nights in a row and you only paid for three.”
Do not be exaggerated, melodramatic and overemotional when addressing a problem as it will only cause unwanted and useless drama that can make the problem or issue bigger and harder to fix.
Avoid these things if you want to maintain a calm and great relationship with your partner. Keep in mind that no one is perfect and that you can’t turn your partner into someone who they are nor just so you could please yourself and satisfy your ideals. Also, no relationship is perfect and your partner will definitely commit mistakes, errors and faults in the duration of your romance. All you will have to do and to remember is to try to understand your partner deeply and make sure that you look at all sides and angles of the story and not just your point of view.
It is also normal to get hurt, feel wounded and be saddened by the difficulties that you two have to face but make sure that you know how to forgive and overlook these mistakes and faults that has been delivered or given to you by your partner. Allow yourself to be open and considerate for your relationship to prosper and bloom into a happier and sweeter one.
What do you have to do in order to turn a bad relationship into a good one?
First, you should never blame your partner when you are facing a challenging and tough time. This is will only push them away or make them not want to help or cooperate in finding a way to fix the problem. Never focus on who is at fault because it will only make it harder for the both of you to find
favorable and practical solutions.
Second, you have to take the responsibility whether it is your fault or your partner’s fault. Saying “it wasn’t my doing” or “do not blame me for everything” would make thing complicated and it pinpointing on who to blame for the matter is just going to be a waste of time. What you should do is to actually take it to yourself that you are going to move forward, fix all the issues, face all the difficulties that is about to come and try to be more understanding to your partner. It is allowing yourself to become the bigger and better person in the relationship.
Third, learn how to choose and control your emotions. There are time when your partner will make you feel like you have done something awfully wrong but before you act and guard yourself in a defensive manner, you have to hold it in and take deep breaths, weigh your emotions and choose to feel another feeling other than the emotion or tension that’s building up inside of you. If you really, really feel hurt and angry then tell your partner how you feel and what made you feel that way in a calm way. This is to avoid dropping and saying hurtful words to your partner and to avoid more conflict in the situation.
Fourth, always believe in your partner and respect him or her. You should let them know that you trust them with your relationship and that you know that they also want for only the best for your relationship. You have to sit down and talk about how much you want to work things out and how much you believe that he or she is the right person for you whom you want to spend the future with. This will strengthen your relationship and will allow the both of you to move forward together.
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