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6 Most Common Relationship Problems and How to Fix Them
When you are in a relationship with someone who is very important and special to you, you do not realize how fast you two get attached and devoted to each other. You spend most of your time together, eating outside, watching movies, going to the park for a walk, traveling to other places or countries, getting a pet dog or a pet cat, getting cozy on the couch while watching your favorite TV series and the lust goes on and on. When you get too fond with each other, there are bigger tendencies that an argument would happen. It could be a fight over something small like leaving the laundry behind for three days or something major where your parents, siblings or workmates get involved.
Whatever it is that you are fighting about, always keep in mind that there are a lot of ways on how you can fix the problems, issues and conflicts in your relationship. It is human nature that people disagree with each other as there will always be opposing views and opinions to every situation and event. It is not every time that you will see eye to eye with each other. All you can do is have faith in your relationship while handling and settling the situation and circumstances at hand with genuine love, a lot of understanding and a great deal of patience.
Here are some of the problems and effective tips on how you and your partner fix the problems and setbacks that you encounter in your relationship.
Problem #1: Communication
This is one of the most common problems in a relationship according to a lot of marriage counselors and therapists. When one or both of the couple gets busy with work or business or themselves, they tend to weaken and decrease their connection that results to lack of communication and physical contact.
When you are in a relationship, you have to make sure that you have enough time to talk to your partner, even when you do not have something important to talk about. Constant communication and connection is one of the main keys to a long-lasting relationship.
What you can do:
- Keep yourself calm and ask your angry or frustrated partner to calm down as well and talk things through without agitation and shouting.
- Sit yourselves on the couch, make sure the kids are not listening, as it can be traumatizing for the kids to see their parents fighting and screaming at each other.
- Attend to the problem with caution and discretion.
- Do not cut in or interject when your partner is still talking or making their point
- Nod or respond if your partner asks you if you understand what he or she is trying to say.
- Whatever it is that you have to say, say it a nice way. Do not shout, do not use profanity and do not be rude to avoid complications.
- Ask questions like: How was your day? Are you doing well in the office? Is something stressing you out? Have you been eating on time? Never forget to make your partner feel how much you love and care for them.
Problem #2: Sex
Yes, there will always be issues and conflicts regarding sexual activities and interests. Like, when your partner lacks sexual experiences or awareness then this could be a problem. But remember healthy couples do not abstain themselves from sex and the more they do it, the better. Why? Because aside from allowing you and your partner to be closer and more intimate with each other, sex also helps you become physically, mentally and emotionally healthy and happy.
What you can do:
- Plan ahead and arrange for a certain date and time when you and your partner will be doing it. This could preferably be on a weekend when everyone’s probably staying at home and focusing on the house chores or it could be a quick ‘sexcapade’ before going to work.
- Worrying about the kids? Ask your parents, in-laws or your friend to babysit for a night so that you and your partner could be at ease and while having sex wherever you want at your home.
- Make a list of what you think is sexy and hot and let it be known to your partner so that he or she could do or perform it for you. This is one way of spicing things up!
Problem #3: Money
Sadly, money is a necessity as we all need it to live happily and sufficiently in this tangible world and many couples fight over money especially after they become husband and wife as they will be sharing their savings with each other, budget their expenses and necessities at home and pay their debts and loans together.
What you can do:
- Face and be open about whatever your financial situation is at the moment. You’re cash-strapped and going broke? Then stop the lavish lifestyle and just focus on paying for the important things and buying only what you need.
- Make sure that both of you are calm, composed and even-tempered when you discuss about money.
- At the beginning of the marriage, you should know who the spender and the saver is between the two of you so you would know how once can contribute in handling and controlling the money. Both can be beneficial but you have to save and spend wisely.
- Never hide your income to your partner. The money that comes in the joint account is for you and the whole family anyway. Show and document credit reports, bank statements and receipts so both of you could keep track.
- Never blame the other for losing money in failed investments, businesses and ventures. In the first place it should be decided by the both of you before releasing your money and funding for it.
- Create multiple joint accounts for different purposes, (1) Home bills and expenses, (2) Kids Education and allowance, (3) Emergency fund, (4) Savings, etc
- Give each other allowances every month that you could spend with whatever and whenever you like.
- Plan ahead. It is always right and safe to be financially secured and able so you could provide for the kids’ tuition fees for their schooling, your parents’ medical and financial needs and any emergency situation in the future.
Problem #4: House Problems
Problems like who would cook lunch or dinner, wash the dishes, do the laundry, send the kids to school, fetch the kids from school, walk the dogs, water the garden and do other basic house chores would always come up in marriage or when you two move in. This just gets more complicated when you both of you juggle more than one job outside of your home.
What you can do:
- Just remember to be fair in splitting the chores between the two of you. You cook, he washes the dishes after. You send the kids to school, he fetches them after school. Share the responsibilities as you only have each other to count on.
- If you really cannot handle the house chores at home as the both of you are too busy or just do not like to clean up then talk about and consider hiring a maid or a house helper whom can assist you with the house duties.
Problem #5: Not Prioritizing the relationship
Your relationship with your partner should be maintained and preserved if you want to live a happy and successful life. Make sure that you still keep each other happy and motivated just like when you first dated each other. Prioritize your relationship.
What you can do:
- Show your partner that you appreciate and value him or her and that you love them so dearly. Give small compliments every now and then and make sure that you make him or her feel important.
- You can relive the days when you were still starting the relationship like eating outside every once in a while and watching good movies in the theaters.
- Say “thank you” when it is necessary
Problem #6: Trust
Remember that without trust, there would be no relationship at all. You have to make sure that you trust your partner and that he or she trusts you as well. If you lose your trust then it might mean the end to your relationship as it can make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable with your partner.
What you can do:
- Try to be dependable, consistent and steady and let your partner feel that you are there and you always will be. Do not be indecisive and ambiguous. Especially when:
You prepared for a date night, make sure you show up on time.
Do whatever it is that you told him or her that you will do. Do not make excuses.
Never lie, not even small lies. It is never healthy for a couple to be keeping secrets from each other. Always tell the truth.
Make sure that you are sensitive enough and that you are considerate of his or her feelings and that you are always fair.
Call him or her whenever you will be coming home late from work. Update them every now and then so they won’t be worried.
Avoid overreacting or being too emotional when things don’t go your way.
Never spew words that could hurt your significant other’s feelings. Words are hard to take back and could stay for long in a person’s mind.
Never bring back an old problem.
Respect each other.
Try not to be a jealous partner.
Always lend your ear when he or she needs someone to talk to.
Problems, troubles and difficulties will always be there especially when you are in a relationship. All you will have to do is to be considerate with your partner’s feelings, trust them, respect their individuality and love them with all your heart. It is not about the problems that arise but it is how you will handle it and manage it. Believe and you will conquer, defeat and overcome.
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